Breaking the Habit
by windlily
Summary: Ren wasn't always the angsty little boy we've all grown to love... Well, okay. So he was. But at least back then he had an annoying little tagalong to rant to. [Indefinite Hiatus]
1. Prologue

_New_

A/N: windy got her first review! And it was very, very helpful. So thank you Kari Usui, and this revision is for you.

windy italisized the flashbacks to help end the confusion. She would also like to say that this is merely the prologue, so don't think all the actual chapters will be this short. They will be longer. Don't worry.

And I also should add that, yes, the title of this fic does pertain to the Linkin Park song of the same name. Probably should've given them credit, huh? Well, windy's doing it now, so it's okay, right? –sweatdrop- windy was on an eight hour car ride, listening to her music and musing through various titles for different plots. When "Breaking the Habit" came on, it just seemed to click with this fic. And so … windy's come full circle.

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windy: This is my first time writing anything to do with Shaman King. I hope I can do it justice.

Ren: She's writing it about me, so it can't be too bad. Then again…

Windy: -maniacal laughter-

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Disclaimer: I do not own Ren, Yoh, Bason, Amidamaru, or Jun. I don't own any of the canon characters from Shaman King, but seeing as these are probably the only ones that will be showing up, I figured I wouldn't have to list them all.

Caution: This story will be featuring Ren when he was still an adorable, little homicidal maniac. Therefore, there will most likely be many death threats and bloody slaughter. I'm sorry for the inconvenience. (Well, not really.)

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Prologue

The Beginning of the End

This was it. The final strike of the final prelim battle of the Shaman Tournament. Ren looked down at Yoh with utter hatred and contempt as he shouted for all to hear and spiraled down blade first to meet him. He would not lose. Never would he lose. Especially not to Yoh Asakura. He had to make it past the preliminaries. If he couldn't even do that, then how…? If he couldn't even defeat Yoh, then how…?

His battle cry became a passionate scream as the milliseconds ticked by and his attack came ever closer to his unmovable opponent. _Unmovable_. Against his will, memories seemed to suddenly charge into his head, flooding his thoughts.

"_You fought really well … even if you lost."_

No! He needed to concentrate! He needed to win! He needed to keep his eyes locked on those of his opponent's. Gold needed to mix with brown into an abyss of forever misunderstanding as the two of them clashed head on. He needed to wipe Yoh's oversoul from the face of this earth!

"_Ah! Ren! That's what headphone boy called you! Ren-san!"_

"_You, you're like a wildfire…"_

Shut up.

"_Yeah?! Well, you're short!"_

"_Do you really … Do you really hate headphone boy that much…? Do you really hate … everyone?"_

Shut up!

"_This sort of thing … it's good for Ren. I'm happy." _

"_I'm not perfect either. Do you want to kill me too?"_

Shut up!! Shut up!! Shut up!! Shut up!!

"_Ren… Why…?"_

SHUT UP!!!!!

The two boys finally met after a single second that seemed like an eternity. A blinding light. A deafening boom. Shamans from all over the world stared at the television screen in awe. Who would win? Who would make it past the preliminaries? Which of these two boys who had given their absolute everything would come out of this battle as a victor? And which would … fail? The world seemed alive with noise.

But not for Ren. Everything was quiet for Ren. Time had stopped. He could no longer supress the memories. He could no longer hold back this emotion. He could no longer pretend that he was all powerful.

He could no longer ignore that voice.

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windy: Well, there you have it. The beginning. Next comes the actual story. windy's always wanted to do a story about Ren's past. Now she is.

Ren: What the heck was that short comment you stuck in there for?!

windy: It's called foreshadowing.

Ren: That's not my point!! Why I oughtta … ! -emo rant-

windy: -ignores- The more reviews I get, the faster I update. Ta-ta! 3


	2. Of Miracles and Mayhem

**A/N: Thank you to my two reviewers, Kari Usui and shamankinggirl086. You make me a very happy windy-chan.**

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windy: I'm baaaaack! –maniacal laugh-

Ren: Please realize that that is not a good thing and that nobody cares so that we can get on with this already.

windy: -gives Ren a noogie- Shut up!! I can do whatever I want!! It's my fanfic!

Ren: -releases himself from my grasp and grabs his kwan do- You're DEAD, you hear me!! DEAD!!!

windy: -runs for my life- Enjoy the first chapter, 'kay?

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It was a dangerously angry Ren that stomped through the streets of Tokyo that night. His recent humiliating defeat and failure to obtain that magnificent samurai spirit, Amidamaru, earlier that day was making him even more cynical than usual, if that was even possible. His wounds from the fight still burned his flesh and stained his clothing a dull red, causing bystanders to stare and whisper to themselves as if they actually believed he couldn't hear. And the filthy pleasures of men that surrounded him on every turn were most definitely not helping.

But he wouldn't go back to the hotel yet. (This is before he buys out that Chinese restaurant to live in.) Oh no. He was in no mood to run into Jun and have her ask what was wrong. And he was _not_ about to return without letting off some steam.

"Oi! Oi, you!"

Those insolent, wretched pests buzzing mindlessly about the planet, destroying all of what Mother Nature had to offer without even batting an eyelid. Humanity. What a cruel joke.

"Oi, oni-chan! Oi, you!"

The boy's nerves were nearing their breaking point, boiling over mercilessly. Yoh was just like all the others. He was stupid, ignorant, and utterly foolish in every aspect. He was a complete incompetent. And that carefree attitude of his… It really pissed him off. _Really_. In the end, he came to the conclusion that the only way to distract himself from this annoyance would be some worthy blood spill.

"ONI-CHAN!"

Ren whirled around and, in the blink of an eye, had his kwan do aimed at the neck of a young girl, only slightly older than him and quite a bit taller. She was rather out of breath as if she'd just stopped running, and her dark brown hair was hanging limp in her gray eyes as she stared down the shaft of the weapon he had pulled seemingly out of nowhere.

"How _dare_ you address me as such, you scum!"

The girl sucked in a few more gasps of air before replying hastily, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I totally forgot your name, and I didn't know what else to call you to get your attention. It was short and … and … it started with an F or … or an R … or something like that, I'm sure…" she babbled on apologetically, seeming to completely disregard the fact that her life was in imminent danger.

Ren was not enjoying this. He had the sudden feeling that slitting this girl's throat would give him more satisfaction than if he had actually obtained Amidamaru. "That is absolutely absurd. I have never seen you before in my life. How could you possibly know my name if I have never told it to you? Now, who-"

"Ah!" the girl interrupted triumphantly. "Ren! That's what headphone boy called you! Ren-san!"

"You were watching then…" the boy grumbled coldly, reliving the wretched defeat yet again. He was so wrapped up in it, in fact, that he didn't even realize exactly what that meant. This girl had seen two boys duke it out with very, very deadly blades and had actually run after one of them afterward.

"So who's your friend, Ren-san?"

This attitude of hers was beginning to remind him of someone. Someone he did not particularly want to be reminded of. Once again, the glorious thought of slitting her tender throat came to him, but a very different emotion overwhelmed it: curiosity. "Friend…?" He did not like where this was going.

"You know, the big, armored, dead guy behind you," and she pointed past the kwan do directly at Bason who was now eyeing the girl with a confused expression.

Ren's mind raced. This girl was not a shaman. She didn't have the aura of a shaman. But she could still see spirits, and she knew what they were. It was the same as that annoying, miniature tag-a-long that had been in the grave yard, the one who was always following Asakura. A mental image of this girl holding an encyclopedia and following him around Tokyo like a little toadie was the very last straw. His nerves had officially snapped. Now he _had_ to kill her. But with that thought, a new thought interrupted before he could actually do anything.

_Why hadn't he yet?_

"_Its_ name is Bason. _It_ is my spirit. Now, answer me. Who are you?"

"_It_, huh?" she mumbled, frowning for just a moment. Suddenly though, as if the frown had never even been there, a large, excited grin alighted upon her features. "What does 'Ren' mean?" she burst out in her excitement.

Ren was so stunned at the seemingly utterly random change of subject and enthusiasm that he stumbled backward a step, no longer holding his kwan do to her throat. After a moment of stunned silence, he too burst, "What do you mean 'what does it mean'?! It's my name! It doesn't mean anything!"

"Well, I'm Kiseki! It means 'miracle'!" she declared without skipping a beat. Ren stared at her in disbelief. No one could be this stupid. Not even Yoh had been this stupid. No one could be. It was impossible….

"I like you, Ren," she smiled down at him, leaning in so close to his face that he could feel her breath on his nose. Then, just as suddenly, she popped back up, waved, and started running down the street. "See you later, Ren-san!"

It was only reasonable that this sequence of events had taken Ren aback far worse than anything the girl had done yet. His cheeks burned bright red as he stared speechless at her shrinking back. She was nuts! Crazy! Utterly and completely insane! And she wanted to see him again after he had held a blade to her neck! This last thought finally shook him from his shocked stupor.

"I _DON'T_ like you! And I don't _EVER _want to see you again, idiot!!" But she was already long gone and out of hearing range, leaving behind only a large group of bystanders staring worriedly at him and his kwan do and asking themselves whether there was a movie being filmed and if so where were the cameras.

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Jun looked up from her newest magazine as Ren haughtily stomped through the door and into their hotel room. The spiky haired boy slammed the door shut behind him, threw his briefcase across the room, and continued wordlessly to the bathroom. Just before he was able to slam this door as well, she grabbed it and stopped him. He glared at her through the crack between the door and the wall, golden eyes glinting dangerously.

"Ren-nii… Did something…" the young woman began hesitantly before pausing. Ren never treated his kwan do so roughly, even when it was inside his briefcase. And he never barged in without _some_ sort of greeting for her, whether it was a slightly embarrassed hello or an impatient demand for supper. She frowned, concerned for her younger brother.

"Did something … _good_ happen?"

Ren froze at this question, eyes wide. _Good?!_ Of course not! Nothing good happened at all!! First his defeat at the hands of that absolute incompetent, Yoh, then that insane Kiseki moron… It had been hell on earth! It had been the worst, most humiliating day of his young life. And that was really saying something. And yet…

"Nee-san…" he began coldly, staring his sister directly in the eye. "I hate you." And with that, he yanked the door from Jun's grasp and slammed it in her face.

This was the first time he had ever told his sister something like that. She was the one person he could truly trust, no matter how he usually treated her. But he found himself meaning every word of it.

Why…?

Why did Jun always have to be right?

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windy: The first chapter is completed!! It's ALIVE!! -everything goes black and white and lighting comes down from out of nowhere, completing the horrible Frankenstein pun-

Ren: You disturb me.

windy: Yes, I have that effect on most people. Anyway, please tell me what you think! I'd be really happy if you did! And so would Ren!

Ren: Yes, please review. It may be the only way to shut her up.

windy: -nods vigorously-


	3. Of Nose Bleeds and Revenge

windy: This chapter is a bit longer than the last, but it was supposed to be even longer. A whole lot longer. I decided to split it in half, so you won't be able to find out what happens after the cliffhanger until the next update.

Ren: You do realize that you're telling them it ends in a cliffhanger even before they read it, right?

windy: Aw, crud! You're right! Now they won't want to read it!! -starts hyperventilating- What have I done!? What have I done?!

Ren: -turns around and walks away-

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Ren cautiously inched the bathroom door open, golden orbs searching the main room of their hotel for any sign of Jun. There was none. He opened the door. He wasn't exactly sure how long he had holed himself up in there, but he had wanted to make absolutely sure that Jun had left before he came out again.

He did not wish to deal with her soft, worrying ways right now. It would just irritate him further. Besides, she already knew his reasons for wanting to become Shaman King. She already knew he wanted to eradicate all of that fowl, disgusting disgrace called human kind. She was human too, after all. She was at least smart enough to have put two and two together by now. Being upset by such a stupid thing … She wasn't even worth talking to anyway.

And with that Ren pulled on a dark colored long-sleeve shirt and pants, stuffed his feet into his shoes, grabbed his briefcase, and left for a walk. It was now about 2:00 AM in the morning, but Ren could hardly have slept if he wanted to. None of that tension, that frustration, that anger, that had been coursing through his veins the night before had really left him. He had only been momentarily distracted from their overwhelming pulses by that crazy girl; he had not forgotten them.

And now he had no distractions.

The boy marched toward the cemetery, finding himself not at all surprised at how much filthier the world was at night. The urge for blood spill began to return to him the more he thought about things. The more he thought about the world. The more he thought about Asakura Yoh… That boy! What he did the day before, synchronizing with his spirit… It was impossible! It was just plainly and simply impossible! There was no way he should have been able to do it! No way…

_Wham!_

And Ren found himself face to face with a rather drunken looking man holding a woman loosely to each of his sides. The man's eyes were only half open but held wildness about them as if he had just recently finished his night's thrills, only to take them with him and continue into the morning at some sleazy hotel. An expensive looking cigar stuck out from his thick, chapped lips at an angle, the toxic smoke it emitted billowing up resolutely into the atmosphere. The women were both scantily clad and obviously high on some sort of illegal drug or two. They looked very much alike. Twins maybe? Ren scowled.

The man was quick to do the same, looking down at the boy like he was some sort of insect. But to Ren it was obvious who the real insects were in the world. "When ya run inta sum'n, yer s'posed to 'pologize," the man slurred angrily. The women giggled. "Well, runt?"

"You know, smoking kills," the boy muttered softly, dangerously.

"Wha' dijou say, runt?!" the man shot back, finally letting go of Thing One and Thing Two who were both still giggling.

"I said…" the spiky haired boy repeated testily as he unlatched the briefcase, "smoking kills."

In one fateful instant, Ren's kwan do assembled and shot upward, slicing the man's cigar from his lips just before taking with it a good chunk of nose as well. The man staggered back, screaming bloody murder as his hand jerked up to feel the blood gushing from around the exposed cartilage. His eyes widened, shocked into sobriety by the overwhelming pain, and his rear-end met pavement hard as his legs gave way beneath him.

By now the girls were also well on their way to sobriety and were hastily running as far away as possible. It seemed they were smarter than the man. Or perhaps he was just stupid from the pain. It didn't matter either way really. If he didn't leave perhaps the boy would just kill him. He doubted anyone would miss the sad drunk. Certainly not those girls.

"I'll git you! I'll git you, runt! Yer dead, ya hear me! Dead!!" Ren looked once again at the man, emotionless. He was scrambling to his feet as he spoke, his face white from blood loss and his eyes alight with murder. His nose, now more of a stump with nostrils, was still bleeding profusely, red liquid squeezing through his hand's tight grip.

"Whatever," the boy sighed as he lowered his weapon and watched the man run off, cursing in agony. It just wasn't worth it anymore. He took one last look at the piece of the man's nose and the cigar, laying spread out about the small alley way outside the cemetery, and at the people staring and pointing in awe and fear at him and his blade before turning away and entering the graveyard. He chanced a small smirk as he leaned up against one of the tombstones, wondering whether the Tokyo police force would soon be after him. There had certainly been plenty of witnesses. It held some interesting consequences in the young boy's mind. Somewhat like a game, perhaps.

He stared skyward, the smirk slowly fading from his lips. There may be no real stars in Tokyo, but at least there were some dull ones. Even looking at dull stars was better than being surrounded by the hustle of a Tokyo night. There were just too many people in this world.

And none of them were worthy of the lives they led.

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Ren slowly opened his eyes. Rubbing them with his shirt sleeve, he wondered when the heck he had fallen asleep. He was still in the graveyard, leaning against one of the tombstones, but the sun was now in the center of the sky. He had slept until noon. Various ghosts milled around him excitedly. Perhaps that was what had woken him up.

Then: "BOO!"

Ren jerked backward, hitting the back of his head against the cemented tombstone behind him in his surprise. He grabbed at the newly forming lump and stared coldly upward. "What are _you_ doing here?"

Kiseki grinned from ear to ear as she leaned down toward Ren, hands on her hips. "Well, I said I'd see you later, didn't I?" she giggled. "But I never expected to see you in a cemetery. Then again, you are a shaman, so I guess it makes sense."

Ren slowly rose to his feet. Despite the painful throbbing in his head, he did feel slightly lighter now than he had before he had slept, as if something had eased away a bit of his pent-up rage. He was now simply annoyed instead of bloodthirsty and disgusted. Which, for Ren, was actually a fairly rare occurrence. He grumbled something inaudibly. It didn't sound too polite.

The girl held a box that let off quite a few mixed scents, most of them food ones. "I was just gonna have some lunch with all the spirits around here. Come on, join us, Ren-san!" she laughed as she grabbed the boy's arm and hauled him off toward a large tree. He was just barely able to grab his briefcase before she did so, cursing her rather loudly.

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Ren sighed disdainfully, still not quite sure how he had allowed for this to happen. And every time he tried to put two and two together, it seemed to add up to something along the lines of takoyaki. Which happened to be what he was eating at the moment.

The pinnacle haired boy turned slowly to face his only living eating companion. She was chatting happily with a small boy spirit, even smaller than Ren, as she ate heartily, flood flying every time she laughed. It was not at all attractive. There was, however, an interesting glint in her spiraling gray eyes which was admittedly alluring. Ren couldn't quite place it, having never seen anyone with such a glint while in his presence.

He frowned, turning away once more. It was bugging him now. What was different about her that made her so despicably carefree even while sitting next to a cold blooded killer? He had held his blade to her neck, and she had laughed it off. It made no sense.

And with that thought he wrote off all the rest as useless nuisances. There was no point in trying to analyze the human race. They were just too stupid.

"Oi, Ren-san!" The shout cut through his eardrum like a katana as he inched his head jerkily in the direction of Kiseki's playful pout. "You're sooo quiet. Talk a little, why don't you? It's like you're lacking in any social skills whatsoever!"

For a reason Ren could not quite explain even to himself, this statement greatly angered him. It was nothing like the icy cold hatred he usually felt though; it was hot, flaming, and passionate. "Of course, I have no social skills, you ignorant moron! I've never needed any! The only beings sentient enough to have a conversation with on this pathetic excuse for a world are disgusting, vile creatures that do absolutely nothing but wreak havoc and ruin upon whatever they may be given! All human beings deserve nothing but eradication! That is my sole goal in life! It's why I fight! To free this world of its self-absorbed and self-destructive fodder!!"

The cemetery became remarkably quiet as the spirits stopped what they had been doing to stare at the young boy who was now on his feet, golden orbs raging like fire. Kiseki, on the other hand, didn't move. Her expression wavered from frown to smile as if not quite sure whether Ren's outburst had been a bad thing or a good thing. This perturbed the boy a bit, but not enough to abed his anger.

"And that boy you were fighting yesterday…?" she finally questioned, her voice barely above a whisper.

Ren's passion reached new heights, sustaining his rage and yet pounding it down in the same agonizing moment. "Asakura!? Asakura Yoh?! He's quite possibly the worst! He deludes himself completely, totally convincing himself of his superior righteousness! And yet he doesn't even realize what's happening all around him!!"

He was now breathing heavily, his fists clenching and unclenching, longing for the sleek shaft of his kwan do. He watched as her expression became pained, and suddenly the impossible-to-contain passion began to slowly dissolve away, leaving Ren merely hot-headed and a bit confused.

"Do you really … Do you really hate headphone boy that much…? Do you really hate … everyone?" the brunette finally managed. The sob she seemed to be holding back bothered the boy, as did the words. But he answered truthfully. There was no point in getting emotional over something like this. She'd be dead as soon as he became Shaman King anyway. Everyone would. He'd make sure of that.

"Yes," he replied, the volume of his voice considerably softer than before. He was overcompensating for his earlier behavior. The passion had certainly dissipated, but he now felt a new, alien undertone to his thoughts and actions. It reminded him a bit of the strange feeling one gets when finished with a book he has been reading for a very long time, and faced with the transition from one world to the another, begins to feel slightly disoriented and out of touch with reality.

Then, just before Kiseki could say anything more, something happened that Ren probably should have expected, but definitely hadn't. At least not in the afternoon, with the sun still high over their heads. He heard a voice call out from the entrance of the cemetery.

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here. Didn't run too far after what you did to me, did you? You're gonna regret that mistake, runt."

The voice sounded awkward, filtered, as if whoever was speaking was plugging his nose. Ren's frown deepened as he turned around. There was the man he had attacked the night before. His stump of a nose was wrapped tightly in hospital-issue bandages, but other than that he looked to be in good shape. And the three other men with him did too.

He laughed and began to walk forward, allowing for an analyzing glance up and down Kiseki as he did so. "The runt's got company this time, huh?" he grinned maliciously. "Well, so do I. Now, let's say we have some fun, shall we?"

He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a very sleek, very metallic, very deadly M1911 semi-automatic pistol.

"Sweet dreams, runt."

And he pulled the trigger.

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windy: Check it out! A few meds later, and I'm not hysterical anymore!

Ren: He's shooting a gun at me! Me! This is when you're _supposed_ to be hysterical!

windy: Oh my gosh! You're right again!! There's something seriously wrong with me!! How could I do that!? And to Ren!? We're all gonna die!! -collapses-

Ren: Honestly. Even Kiseki and Yoh combined would be better than this. Anyway, a few reviews would probably calm her down.

windy: And apple cider!!

Ren: And apple cider.


End file.
